Sanctuary is even prettier than most of the places in Perfect World, what with the peach trees blossoming and the deceptively pretty monsters everywhere. Really a gorgeous place. I had plenty of time to appreciate this as I was resurrected there again and again and again and again and again...
To begin with, it was just stupidity impeding me, because I wanted to get pictures with the local NPCs.
Speaking of which, this is me with Brilliance (who "Presides over the trigram Chien" ???) and the Huggy Hares, who can kill you by blinking.
Which is exactly what happened when I looked away to write the above sentence.
Once I got over that bout of idiocy, it was the Huggy Hares (lvl75).
Huggy Hares are unusually vicious for such cute little things. They may look like fluffy bunnies, but their idea of showing affection is shooting you with lasers from their eyes that sap your hp and mana and, in the case of a weakling like me at least, pretty much all in one shot.
I would highly advice any magic users going up against these things to keep their potions handy and bring lots of beefy friends to hide behind.
Anyway, this unbelievable horde of Huggy Hares kept me trapped in Sanctuary for almost an hour. Nothing I tried would work. They were too sensitive to dodge around, they used range attacks so just running wouldn't work, even using my pets as living shields wouldn't hold them off for long. I actually got so desperate that I messaged Braden to come and rescue me. But he said he'd have to restart his computer to run Perfect World and he'd never been down to Sanctuary cause all his quests took him North and blah blah blah you're on your own.
But, fear not, for I was determined not to let my travels end so soon. And certainly not because of a bunch of rabbits.
And that's how I realized the way out.
My friends, do not underestimate the power of bouncing.
I honestly can't believe I didn't see it before. Apparently, even for beasts as vicious as bunnies, its really hard to hit a moving target. So, I held down the space bar and ran- er, bounced like hell. I got clipped a couple of times, but by some miracle I made it to the mountains and got high enough that they reach me.
Cue the victory dance.
From there I headed over the mountain to Hidden Orchid Valley. Unsurprisingly, the name again makes no sense. There wasn't a drop of ranch dressing to be found in the whole place. No orchids either, coincidentally. Again unsurprisingly, the teleport master (whose name is Chi Er) could not get me home. In fact, she couldn't even port me back to Sanctuary. Is it just me, or does the relative wimpiness of the teleport master vary directly with the size of the town? Is that intentional? All I know is its freaking annoying.
Notable NPCs in Hidden Valley (being, ones that don't appear with slightly altered names in every other town) are The Father of Tsai Tieh who thinks the Hidden Orchid is no longer a beautiful place (though his outlook is probably darkened by the fact that he has no identity except as his child's father and that child isn't even here), Hsu Hsiako who has conspiracy theories on the brain, Shuang who's pining for a Duke, and Lady Lo (I refuse to make fun of that name) who says she's the descendant of a legendary god. From the way she says it and her skimpy outfit, I'd wager the god is Aphrodite and she charges 100 silver an hour.
A little peek at the local monsters: Torgirn Prime (only level 35? *gasp*) and Abandonfeme Aranied (also lvl 35) which I think is a bad translation of 'Widow Spider.' Also, Antitan Warriors (same lvl) who look more like a cross between crickets and lobsters than ants.
If you go down to the beach there are Back Stabbing Scorpions (lvl 33) and also Chuko Junior, an NPC who spits meaningless Taoist philosophy at you, which is almost more dangerous to your health than the scorpions.
Unless I wanted to swim the Aromatic River (not even going to ask what that name's about) the road from Hidden Orchid either led to Archosaur or the Swamp of the Wraiths. I think you can guess which way I decided to go.
The road to Archosaur was full of bugs. BIG bugs. Level 30+ bugs to be exact, the most notable of which being the entophile's dream girl, the Argenweave Mantis, which take the form of a naked woman with the body and arms of a praying mantis, which just goes to show that there is nothing a computer programmer won't do for boobies.
However, there was nothing I wouldn't do to get away from the boobies. I had to employ the bounce technique again. And again I must implore you:
Do not underestimate the BOUNCE. Especially where breasts are involved.
As I neared the city, I found an increasing number of abandoned grass huts along the river side. At first these were a great confusion to me, especially since I couldn't find even a single story carrying NPC among the ruins. Eventually, however, I came to the only possible conclusion.
Once upon a time, Archosaur was a tiny native village by the river, which, with the advent of tourism, grew into a prosperous city. However, as the city grew, so did the pollution in the Aromatic River (whose name finally makes sense in this context) which mutated the local insect population who, in true B-movie fashion, ate or drove away all the remaining villagers and tourists. The city was now strong enough to stand on its own, but the outlying villages couldn't survive without the tourists money and were eventually abandoned as the native forgot their peaceful nature loving ways and entered the world of cutthroat business.
As I was studying the anthropology of this abandoned river side culture, I caught a glimpse of something curious in the river.
There was a group of three Undine swimming just at the surface, apparently taunting another Undine a little ways away. I was confused for a bit as to why they would turn on their own like that, until I looked closer and realized the group was of two Undine Enchantresses and an Undine Princess, and the victim was an Undine Wench.
Yes, my friends, even in this supposedly Perfect World, high school politics win out.
I did manage to get a picture with the Undine Princess before she tried to kill me though.
My first glimpse of Archosaur proved endemic of the old 'first impressions' rule. The bridge into the city is guarded by two massive stone statues, one a lion, the other a horse. And, just because, who could resist doing this?
And here I am waving at Chu the Pretty Lady, surrounded by lvl 21-22 monsters, which makes me rather suspicious of her. A Pretty Lady, standing on a riverbed in a skimpy dress in the middle of the day, surrounded by Ghouls? You can't tell me there isn't something wrong with that.
Here's something I bet you couldn't guess about Archosaur. It's named after a dinosaur because its HUGE. Seriously MASSIVE. Goes on forever. Why? I'm not sure, because its got three of everything just in the South District. Its got more than one teleporter! More than one Promotions agent! More than one 'Watcher of the Earth' (Read: Genie salesman). And its got four districts, a center district, and a bunch of outlying buildings too. Not to mention more gigantic statues and massive fountains than you can shake a glaive at.
Why go to so much excess? Trying to impress someone? Just for kicks? Were the programmers compensating for something? All I know is, mini map and auto travel be damned, I got lost. A lot. I had to climb buildings to evaluate my surroundings. I felt like Survivorman, hunting for shelter for the night in the Urban Jungle.
I think it can be safely assumed by now that I am not terribly impressed with towns in this game. I think they serve very little purpose aside from being pretty scenery, and Archosaur is no different. The only differences between it and any other city is the number and names of its NPCs. Don't get me wrong, Archosour is pretty, so pretty I could spit, but, like the proverbial gold plated turd, it's also totally useless.
Archosaur's one redeeming quality seems to be its abundance of interesting NPCs to mock.
The first one I noticed was something called the Warsoul Spirit, somewhere in the center of the city. I went to where he was supposed to be, but I couldn't find him to save my life. I can only think it must be on top of the roof, but how you're supposed to get there without a flying mount I've no idea. And believe me, I tried. And ended up in the pond.
This is me with Duke Black. Is he the same Duke that Shuang of Hidden Valley without the Ranch was pining for? Beats me. All he wanted to talk about to me was refining techniques.
I have to say, the trip was almost worth it to meet Library Chief Cheng in the North District, the first NPC I've met in this game who attempted to make a joke and succeeded. I won't spoil the joke for you, but I highly endorse giving him a visit. I'm strongly tempted to stick him on the side of a highway under the sign 'Worlds first funny NPC' to draw tourists.
I also met a man so enamored of lanterns that he's named after then. Lantern Cheng hangs out in West District, babbling about the 'pretty lanterns.' The sad part? There isn't a lantern to be found in the whole city.
Good news for those of you with water pets and no way to train them! I found Zoologist Yin lurking at the bottom of Archosaur's port, where he appears to be caught in the mud.
The strangest one I found was, I think, some programmers revenge for the wrongs done him in high school. I found Su the Jock hiding behind a shop. He's missing one leg for no apparent reason and when you attempt to speak to him he shouts, "Fine Cuisine! What else is there?"
But this is where my story grows sad, for it is then that I met Han the Drunkard, who thinks no one cares about him. Poor Han the Drunkard! As this is only my second post, I don't expect I have many readers yet, but I beseech all of you whom I do have, and any future readers I may garner, to pay poor Han a visit and show him you care.
One friendly smile could be all that stands between Han the Drunkard and self destruction. Remember, only you can prevent NPC suicide.
And here's me at the gallows! They have more than one of that too.
The player shop area, like everything else in Archosaur, is disproportionately huge. It fills an entire street in the West District and then some.
Speaking of which, near that same street is the giver of the craziest quest I've found on this game yet.
You heard of that guy a while back, who traded a red paperclip for a house?
You guessed it.
This is how they amuse people after they've passed level seventy.
Also nearby is a monster cleverly disguised as an NPC, and a woman named Hou Jenhsi, who says she may have a 'surprise for you' if you keep visiting her. That needs no mocking.
This area was understandably crowded, so I spent some time idling there and talking to people, which wasn't particularly remarkable until Captain Picard came through looking for squad members, followed not ten minutes later by Mr Spock who needed one more player for FQ. When I commented on this and asked where Chekov was, someone responded that they'd seen him about two hours ago, and Captain Kirk whispered me, requesting I not leave him out.
When I was finished socialising, I went to check on a peculiar NPC I'd noticed earlier, located on the bottom of the ocean just outside Archosaur's port. When I got there, I found a Minotaur with the title of River Ghost (despite the fact that he was in a gulf, not a river, and quite solid). When I tried to speak to him, he complained of the cold, but would not respond to my attempts to loan him a sweater.
When I surfaced, working hard to avoid the killer turtles swarming just above the River Ghost's head, I noticed a landmass in the distance and, in the true spirit of adventure, decided to swim for it without even checking the map to see what it was.
Once I got past the turtles the area was mostly deserted. No players, no monsters. Barely even any decoration, unusual for Perfect World.
When I reached the cliffs of the landmass, I discovered it was in fact the Nameless Isle. I'd been curious about it before, so I was eager to explore. However, once I had bounced up the sheer cliffs and made it onto the island, all I found was the ruins of a small town and, in their center, the hideously misshapen Bloodlusted Shen Fu, the most horrifying creature I've seen in Perfect World so far. However, he didn't attack, but rather begged me to kill him. I would have been happy to oblige and put him out of his misery, you understand, but I was a bit busy running away and screaming like a little girl.
Did get a picture though!
A safe distance from Shen Fu, I continued my exploration of the island, only to discover there wasn't much to it bu the cliffs, the village, and the beach, which was swarming with 70+ monsters ironically called Snake Isle Ambassadors. All I can say is, if those are the ambassadors, I'd hate to see the soldiers.
For today I'm going to end my correspondence from the top of the highest building in the village, where I'm keeping a wary eye on Shen Fu and the Ambassadors. Tomorrow, I head North to the Widow's Coast to investigate the Tomb of Heroes and something labeled only "Secret Passage." Wish me luck!
wow. u have too much time. you should go lvl instead of doing this.
ReplyDelete